A body is such an interesting container for heart, mind, and soul. Our bodies give us shape, hold us together, and move us from here to there. Our physical bodies are much more intricate, resilient, and adaptable than we might give them credit for. In addition to its incredibly creative functionality – the body is interconnected with the cosmos. Science says we are made of stardust. Our faith says we are created from the stuff of God. We contain bits of DNA from generations past. Bodies are so much more than skin, bone, ligament, muscle, organ and tissue. Our bodily containers also hold our memories.
“Your physically felt body is in fact part of a gigantic system of here and other places, now and other times, you and other people–in fact, the whole universe. The sense of being bodily alive in a vast system– is the body as it is felt from inside.” (Eugene T. Gendlin, Focusing, 1978)
When we talk about remembering, it goes deeper than just the mind. Our bodies have a memory of their own and they remember our trauma, pain, grief, loss, confusion, disappointment, loneliness, and fear –and also joy, exhilaration, hope, love, happiness, connections with other people, places and times.
I recognize that my bodily container has a special penchant for unconscious remembering of negative memories that I should forget. Leaving me to grind my teeth in my sleep and with knots in my back.
We sometimes go to great lengths enticing our bodies to forget. For Zach Bryan, remembering everything is also a bodily felt exercise– drinking rotgut whiskey, crying hidden tears (grown men don’t cry), and strange words come on out of a grown man’s mouth from his sense of brokenness. For Kacey Musgrave's it’s a feeling of heaviness and feels like concrete feet in the summer heat that burns like hell when two soles/souls meet, and a cold shoulder at the end.
We are an embodied people. We have no choice but to feel things bodily. The question becomes, how do we best hold those uncomfortable memories so that they don’t break our bodies down and cause harm. Recognizing their existence is the first step. Giving ourselves grace and rest is also an important step.
I personally engage breathing and breath prayer, yoga, and walking. I also practice presence and awareness with myself. And of course, I lean into my loved ones: family, friends, mentors, spiritual guides and Samson, my dog. When I stay faithful to these practices, my body is lighter– making way for warmer, sweeter memories to float to the top. Thanks be to God!
What about you? What is your body keeping track of? In what ways is it remembering? What are you doing about it?
Reflection inspired by The Body Keeps Score (Bessel A. van Der Kolk, MD), Body Connections Body Based Spiritual Care (Michael Keppel) and Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgrave’s song, I Remember Everything.